just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My balls are so social today.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
