The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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