it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
