How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
