he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
