Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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