well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
