oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Less talking, more tequila
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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