jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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