I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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