So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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