I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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