U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
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Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
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GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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