She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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