you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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