the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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