On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
