This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
