JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
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my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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