After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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