what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
