woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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