shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
