I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am puke
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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