I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
