dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
