found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
