Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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