We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
