i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
