its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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