Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
