There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
