Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Randomize