Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
