Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The Olympian is in my bed
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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