Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She even gives head with a lisp.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
