he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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