I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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