We won't sleep together?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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