i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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