I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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