Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Operation Purity has been aborted
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
