I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
