when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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