Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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