It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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