you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize