haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
