I'm so fucking centered right now
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize