So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
