she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
