Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
