Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
