what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
