I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
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He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
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I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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