...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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