god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
