i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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