The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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