wat bout pragnant strippers??
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
