It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
