Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
