Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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