And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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