Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
