based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize