I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
